Jerks are People, too

I ran into someone the other day at the mall, who used to bully me RELENTLESSLY in Elementary school. 

He started my childhood nick name "Maddie Fatty" (which to this day makes me cringe and I don't like talking about it...).

One day, in the 3rd grade, he shoved me in a trash can for playing pretend Poke'mon by myself...

So I reported him. And after being evaluated, he wound up being put in special ed.

He never messed with me again...but I always knew him as the guy I sent to special ed.

I never really thought much about it after it happened...but 15 years or so go by and I see him and I literally felt speechless. I put on my polite face and said hi and asked him how things were going, and he reciprocated the same energy I threw at him. It over-all wasn't a bad experience, but it really got me thinking about things...

What would have happened if I hadn't spoken up about this incident and what he had been doing to me? I don't mean in the sense on what would have happened to me, I was getting made fun of by more kids than just him, but I mean with his life. I don't know exactly the kind of problems he had, but I imagine that if they hadn't gotten him in the program when he did, he would be in a totally different place right now and would not have gotten to where he is now. He told me that he is at a technical college going to be an auto-mechanic...which is awesome! What if he had never gotten the services the special ed provided for him? I don't want to blame myself for his success...but one little thing led to another, in a sense. 

What would have happened to ME if I hadn't gotten services?

I don't think I would be at all who I am today. Let's see some examples...

Things I could not do if I were never in special ed or gotten the amount of therapy I had:

-I couldn't speak. I would have no sense of communication, or if there were, it would be 2 or 3 words at a time.

-I couldn't eat anything but PB&J, French Fries, and Mac & Cheese.

-Acting? Forget about it.

-College? Forget about it.

-Boyfriend? ANY kind of friend? Non-existent...

I'd go on, but let's just say this...I owe a LOT to people in the educational system. Not all of them were necessarily people I always enjoyed working with, and a couple of people made me feel pretty crappy, but the ones who were awesome to work with are the ones that stick out in my mind. It took me years later to see the impact that these people really did have on my life and my development, but now as an adult, it means the world to me. 

Parents, if your child is frustrated with their special ed, or they don't seem cooperative, please be patient. Your perseverance and your child's special educators are essential in helping your child find the best sides of Autism. No matter what your child might have, early intervention of it will make all the difference. Intervention can help your child bring the best sides of them out, when the negative seem to want to over-shadow them. Don't give up! Years later, they will thank you for never abandoning them even in the darkest of times. I know I have, and I bet that guy from my elementary school does, too.

By the way...Mondays suck. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

<3 Maddie

Let's "Get It" On...

I have many (claimed to be) "Neuro-Typical" people in my life, many of them who knew almost nothing about Autism before meeting me. There are so many people who I love and adore that I choose to have in my life, but still don't seem to "get it".

My dog doesn't seem to "get it", in the sense that she doesn't quite "get" how to poop outside. I swear, my dog, Jandy, (yes, that is her real name, I have no need to try and protect her identity) has the internal hatred of taking a poop out on the grass. I will spend a max of 2 hours being outside with her, and when I finally give in and have us go back inside, the second I open the door of my apartment, she bolts in and goes to her little poo-corner and does her little Pomeranian/Chihuahua thing.  I have gone so far as to buy the fake grass they sell at PetCo to see if she will do her business on that...nope, nothing. She really prefers either on our carpet or on a puppy pad (that is sprayed with the scent you can buy that tricks her into going on the places you spay...except outside!!!). As many times as I will yell and scold her for not going outside, and as many times as I try different approaches to this dilemma, my efforts seem to fail. The nick-name "Little Sh$%#" says enough for her.

I find it funny that people look at people with Autism and assume that they don't "get it"...like we are out of touch with normality and that because we function DIFFERENTLY, it makes it automatically not acceptable...to those people's standards. 

No, YOU don't get it.

...No offense.

Let me help you "get it" :)

What do I mean by "get it"? Here's the deal: the people I interact with on a consistent basis seem to lack understanding of how Autism works. My friends don't see me as Autistic...which is cool on the surface, but really the issue is that their "image" of Autism is only the severe cases they have seen in the media or tantrums in public places. What they don't "get" is that Autism has many faces and many ways it affects people...negative AND positive. People in my life hear about Autism and only hear about and or see the negative, and it affects the way they look at the spectrum.

Side note...the low functioning portion of the spectrum is not the entirety of the spectrum...also, it's not a disease and I refuse to refer to it as a disease.

Supposedly, people on the spectrum don't "get it". What is there to "get", anyway? Because we don't think or act the way that "neuro-typical" people do makes it wrong? We have many gifts and talents that our society could not function without. There are many people in history that people have looked back on and seen Autistic tendencies and ways of thinking in. One of the smartest men in history, if not the smartest, Albert Einstein, was thought to have had Autism. Many things would not have happened if we didn't utilize the way his brain worked and the way he formulated ideas and put them into our realities. There are many other examples of people like this in history, and even though people didn't know about Autism then, it doesn't mean that it didn't affect people, very very influential people.

My friends and family love me. I have a wonderful support system in my life...but often, I find that there are still many people with ignorance about the benefits Autism can have. Jokes are made about Autistic people in front of me...and it makes me want to vomit. Just because I have found a social tact that helps me with everyday relationships does not mean that I am automatically not Autistic, and it does not give people the leeway to think that their mocking doesn't affect me. I can yell at them like I yell at my dog until they understand...but it won't help anyone. Jandy won't do her business outside by me yelling at her, in fact, it might even make her more afraid of me. Patience is key. Change won't happen if I just stay angry at ignorance. Ignorance can be fixed, not stupidity. I don't have stupid people in my life...in fact, I have very many brilliant and talented people surrounded by me (each with wonderful gifts they will offer to the world), but there certainly is a good amount of ignorance going on. 

I know I have said this over and over again...but people on the spectrum don't need to change who they are. It's about finding educational strategies to utilizing the gifts that people with Autism have. Helping people on the spectrum reach a communication level with the people around them is different than trying to change the language entirely. There are many different ways that you can bring out the best in people without changing the person themselves.

I hope that people reading this blog have a better understanding of the spectrum...it's huge, it's a little confusing, but it's something that people need an understanding of, especially with the growing number of diagnoses going on.

Instead of calling it an "epidemic" it should be called an "evolution" with the possibility of many "solutions".

Get it?

<3 Maddie :)