A Few Words From "The Supposedly Deranged" Chick

Greetings from Ellensburg, WA, home of  Central Washington University!

(go wildcats.)

 

Amidst my college adventures, I have had a sudden spark of inspiration to blog this week...and not necessarily in a good way.

 

I don't want to start off on a negative note, however, so let me first say that I am transitioning nicely to university life!

 

I decided this past May that I was ready to go to school after a year of graduating with my AA from Bellevue College. I was done working in jobs that weren't leaving me fulfilled in ways that I want to be. So many due dates had passed for college applications, and I knew I was late into the game. I was talking to a good friend of mine about wanting to go back to school, but most likely would have to wait another year. Another year of a possible job that wouldn't really be exactly what I want to be doing. He told me that Central Washington University was taking applications. One visit and one week later,  I was accepted and decided to attend for this fall. This school had the right programs, the right kinds of people, and, big bonus, the affordable tuition that I was looking for. All around, a great life step for Maddie!

 

I am about to end my 3rd week here, and, for the most part, things have been amazing. I have met some wonderful people, I have joined an a cappella group, and I am enjoying my classes.

 

Well...I was enjoying one of them. Until this past Tuesday...

 

 

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUNNNNNN...

 

 

Ok, I'm being a little over dramatic.

 

 But, ladies and gentlemen, I left class on Tuesday PISSED.

 

 

I am a person who can hear pretty controversial things and not want to get into huge, heated debates around them. Things will spark my interest and I will want to discuss it, but few things get me really fired up.

 

I'll explain what happened.

 

To put it simply...

 

The world is so much more ignorant about Autism than I thought.

 

 

Before class had really begun, we were all sitting around, waiting for the last few people to get into class. The professor and some students were talking about really smart old guys (I am assuming, honestly, I was pretty focused on level 347 of Candy Crush Saga, but I was still some-what listening). Albert Einstein came up, and a student had asked if Albert Einstein had Asperger's. My teacher scoffed at him, and I looked up and commented on the fact that there have been many theories on certain historical figures having Asperger's.

 

 

My teacher then says...

 

wait for it...

 

 

"They probably did. They were pretty deranged."

 

 

I'm sorry...

 

what?

 

 

Did that really just come OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?!

 

 

The majority of the class burst out laughing. They then proceeded to make jokes about "those crazy Asperger people" and how "Asperger's is just an excuse to be an asshole". Never mind that just the week before, in an assignment about showing vulnerable life moments on stage, I talked about my Autism diagnosis as a kid. I'm just sitting there, with some eyes of my peers on me, who could probably guess how I was feeling in that moment.

 

Look, people, I understand that sometimes jokes get a little carried away, and that we don't mean hate or harm when we make certain jokes at groups of people...

 

but seriously...

 

ouch.

 

I have heard many people talking about how our society has become way to politically correct. How people now spend so much time and effort being sensitive to others that no topic is safe to laugh at anymore. Comedy has become narrowed down, and people don't like it. I get it.  However, what was said wasn't funny. Nothing about being called "deranged" is funny.

 

 

I don't have a freaking puzzle piece tattoo on my forearm because I enjoy being labeled "deranged".

 

I have it because it is a badge of honor, and I'm damn proud of my experiences. 

 

 

As you can probably guess by now, I was pretty upset. Myself and many people close to me were the target of ignorant humor, and I'm here to say today that IT IS NOT OK. Of all the things to laugh about in this world, a group of people, with many born natural talents and gifts, do not deserve to be the subject of your laughter. In that moment when things were being said, I felt like yelling, I felt like crying, I felt like telling them all to STFU. But none of those things would have helped. Their ignorance would not have been addressed positively if I had lashed out in anger. In that moment, I was too angry to really find appropriate phrasing to address what they were saying. I wish I had, but I didn't. So here I am, blogging to all of you reading this. Why? Because it needs to be talked about. We need to stop letting things slide when words are said at the expense of someone else's being. Whether it was an indirect attack or not, what happened was still a form of BULLYING.

 

 

Being mindful of the things you say doesn't just apply to Autism.

 

It applies to race, gender, sexuality, mental illness, rape, weight, abuse, and on and on and on...

 

 

My overall point, is that you never know what people around you may have gone through. You might not be aware of all of the insecurities, hurt, past and present issues that someone may be going through. What you may find funny is probably not if it at the expense of someone else. What we go through behind closed doors is our own business, and we shouldn't have to wear giant signs on our foreheads exposing the "skeletons" in our closets. Especially when it comes to Autism, when so many people in our society are now affected by it, you don't know who in the room around you might have some kind of experience with it. I am pretty confident that I wasn't the only person in that classroom with some kind of relation to Autism in some way. I was not only insulted for me, but insulted for my peers who are Autistic, for all of the kids I have met in my job experiences who are on the spectrum, and for historical figures who have shared their intelligence and passions with the world. It shouldn't take away from their impact on the world because they may or may not have had Autism.

 

I can't be angry at people for being ignorant, but I can be angry when things are said that can potentially bring hurt feelings to someone in the room, whether they "meant to" or not. It's ok to not know a lot about a subject. To quote a certain little rabbit, "If you don't have something nice to say...", you know the drill. Have good judgment. Think before you speak, and speak when you're well being is being compromised by the jokes of someone who may not know better.

 

 

Call me overly sensitive, call me short fused, but I'm not going to stay quiet about this, and neither should you.

 

 

Guys...just don't be a dick.

 

Xoxo.

 

Maddie :) <3



 



 

 

 





Coming From The Dusty Bookshelf

Why HELLO THERE, blogging world! It is I...Maddie...back to blog. 

I know, I know, it's been quite a long time since I have posted. I will not be surprised if no one reads this..this blog has kind of been sitting on a dusty bookshelf while I've figured a lot of life out.

Life has kind of taken priority over the internet the past year or so, so there hasn't been a ton of room for blogging inspiration.

BUT WAIT...I DO have some inspiration!

Up until this past month, I was working at a non-profit in Seattle for children and adults with moderate to severe mental and physical "disabilities" (I don't like the word disability, so I try to use it as little as possible). I recently left because I moved to the Spokane area
(Eastern Washington). Now I am back in Bellevue teaching pre-schoolers!
 

The time spent at the non-profit was a pretty incredible, eye opening experience...so to say I have no inspiration after these past few months is just a straight up LIE. I have SO much to share with you, my (hopefully) loyal readers. 

While I will not give any specific information as far as names and individual stories, I will share what I generally learned and experienced from working with people of many different abilities, primarily Autism. 

Let me say this first...I know SO much more now about Autism than I did when I began this blog. I will admit, I went into my job feeling like an Autism guru...how could I not? I HAD Autism...I thought I had once been in a position that these kids were all in...

 Little did I know, that they would wind up teaching me more than I wound up teaching them. 

So, my job was to be a teaching assistant, working with students on their individual education programs. I first worked with children ages 5-21 with a wide variety of abilities, the most common one being Autism. I then switched over to working with adults (21 and over) for the first part of my day, and then with the kiddos the second. To say the least, my job was wonderful and exhausting all at the same time. It took a lot of energy out of me emotionally. I came across children with VERY severe behavioral problems. Multiple times I was hit, pinched, yelled/screamed at, and left with many dirty diapers to clean.

 Again, it was wonderful and exhausting all at the same time.

It was pretty rough to adjust to at first, but after a while you become desensitized to the negative behaviors because you cling on to the behaviors that showed progress. I would get beams of excitement when I would find small solutions to difficult problems. Whether or not the progress would be consistent varied by student. Lots of skills took a lot of practice. But when you saw your assistance clicking in a student's mind, it was honestly one of the coolest experiences I could possibly describe. 

Among all of the work that went on, there were so many fun times that were had. We went on field trips, sang songs, did crafts (some were better than others, either way it made for great amusement), science projects, and so much more.

What I loved about this agency was that they would find inexpensive, creative ways to get students actively involved in group activities. Everyone was included, no student was left out. At times it reminded me of ways I was left out of activities in my child hood...how much of a stretch it would be for teachers or counselors to reach out to me and make sure I was ok while sitting in a corner, watching other students socialize and get along. I never felt like I was going out of my way to include a student in an activity while working at this agency. I almost made it a personal mission to try and find ways to involve the students and make them feel included. Not only did I do this, but other staff did this as well. It really was an agency effort that I really admired.

This is all to say that this job really proved to me 2 things: 

1. It is pretty much impossible to say "Oh yeah, Autism! I completely understand what that's like, my child has that/I know someone who has that!" and have it be accurate.

They call it a "spectrum" for a reason. No person I worked with, who had Autism, was completely like another person who had Autism. There were certain varying characteristics that would be similar, but each student's needs were completely unique to that student. I would really like to try and get people to understand this as much as possible...education and general care NEEDS to be individual, based on the needs of that student. More adults working with a student with disabilities need to stop treating students based on how they have seen a person with autism beforehand, or their idea of what Autism is. They need to genuinely get on that student's level and progressively discover their likes, dislikes, etc. You need to actually GET TO KNOW THE STUDENT, not just what a file might say or what you *assume* will be a solution to a behavioral issue. 

2. I am no expert on Autism.

I am only blogging based on my own experience with Autism, and things I learned while working with people with Autsim. I still do not know everything there is to know about it. 

Oh yeah, I guess there is a 3rd thing I learned...

3. This is what I want to be doing. 

I want to be in a career where I am doing exactly this...working with children, learning more than I ever imagined about working with people with different abilities, and then helping to educate the world. So...to say the least...there is more to come. 

I'm currently on the job search in Spokane, WA, before heading to Eastern Washington University to get my Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and Disability Studies...with, of course, a minor in theater arts. But before school, I want more work experience...hopefully doing something similar to what I was doing back in Seattle. So...we'll see what happens! Send good job seeking vibes my way, please!!! Oh...and keep an eye out on the blog, more free time means more posts ;).

And for now...I finish this blog, eat some ramen, and watch the final season of How I Met Your Mother. 

LIVING THE GOOD LIFE!

<3 Maddie