Good Morning!
I feel like I've come across a slight "writer's block" with my blog. I've already had parents emailing me telling me that my blog has really been eye opening for them in their journey with their autistic child...which was exactly my goal with all of this! The fear of disappointing people has been looming over me...
A little fact about myself:
I hate being wrong...
...or messing something up and being corrected about it...
...or feeling inadequate at something I want to feel confident in.
Oh, I also hate chalk boards. And broccoli. Just FYI.
I realize that these aren't uncommon dislikes. It's something, however, that gets amplified for a person with Autism. Our entire lives growing up are based around correcting behaviors, understanding social norms, cutting a piece of paper in a straight line, speech therapy, occupational therapy, seeing pictures of peoples faces OVER AND OVER again until you can explain the facial expression. Our whole mission is to wire our brain so that our awkwardly shaped puzzle piece can fit into society's. That is for any special needs kid. Because of this, I have spent my adult life getting easily frustrated when I mess something up because I've been in that place over and over again. So when it comes to messing up something I feel like I know I can do, yes, I will have a mental (and sometimes outward) shut down about it...but I've promised myself I will never let anything bring me down and give up. I'm pretty stubborn about things. Society needs to understand that even though people march to the beat of their own drum, it can still function with people learning and looking at the world differently.
Imagine that you were born on a different planet. You spent some time there, by yourself, and then someone came and found you and brought you back to earth. All earthlings are born with lack of understanding of what earth is, but the discovery process happens differently for a child with Autism. You see people try and make you act a certain way, eat certain things, see, watch, and hear different things...but they just don't click with you. You can't analyze how a person feels based on their face because that wasn't how you were wired to see the world. It's understandable why kids with autism retreat to being in their own little worlds...they aren't being reached out to in ways that click with them. It's like having someone make you analyze and report on an article written in Japanese and you haven't learned a word of Japanese in your life, nor understand anything about Japanese culture. Autistic people have to make themselves understand enough about the society we live in to get by without getting in trouble, but that doesn't mean it still clicks with us. We see the world and want to explore the mechanics of it all, we are less concerned about how it makes you feel in the process...which is ironic, because I've spent my teenage and adult life trying to figure out how people work but haven't necessarily been concerned with the minor details of the way things function (I think I'm the weirdo in the Autistic community...).
Assuming that everyone understands conceptual things on the same level is just ignorant. It's no good trying to tell someone with Autism (a lot of people on the spectrum, that is) that they need to speak and look you in the eye at the same time. It is obviously a societal norm to look people in the eye and speak to them at the same time...to you, it shows respect and that you are engaged in a conversation. A lot of people with Autism have a hard time retaining information if we have to multi task with it. For instance, I can look at you and listen to what you have to say, but if I have to relay information to you, it is easier for me to look away and collect my thoughts because I can't be distracted by the look you are giving me while I am trying to speak. There are many things like this that neuro-typical people don't understand because they have not been explained to properly about it.
Well, here I am. An open book.
Autistics...we are taking over the world.
Better get used to it.
With the rate at which Autism is being found in young people, our society WILL be filled with people who don't go about living life, learning, and relating to people the same as "everyone else". I don't mean to say that Autistic people have any excuse for settling for bad behavior (I know too many people like that and it infuriates me), but what you may consider "bad" behavior might not actually be all that bad. If a kid is more interested in building models of helicopters than they are about making Valentine's Day cards, what is the big deal? We don't all have to be interested in the same kinds of things. My older brother is a business entrepreneur graduate from Baylor. He likes business and he has the right mentality for it. Just because I have been at a "community" college (Bellevue College ditched "Community" in it's name) and have been studying theater does not make me any less of a person. I found what I love and I am pursuing it. We don't all have to be big, successful people making lots of money and buying yachts (my brother does not own a yacht...yet).
I know I need to work on taking criticism better, I don't get to be a bad sport about things just because I have Autism. But the point is, Autistic people get a lot of undeserved crap about things (esspecially in the education system, unfortunately). Our interests do not have to match up with the "dream life" parents imagine for their kids. We shouldn't have to go about doing homework and what not the same way as neuro-typical people. It's getting to the end point that should be the goal. Life's paths don't have to go in the same direction. Not everyone is meant to go to college. We don't all have to eat broccoli...I know, I really should though.
We can all, as people living on this planet...
alien or not...
choose our own path.
Eat your vegetables. Do as I say, not as I do.
<3 Maddie
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